Tag Archives: poems

*shakes off dust*

Standard

Whew! What a break from blogging THAT was! It actually was completely unintentional, but no matter…I’m back!

I’m on a good track in my life right now…Working on the weight loss thing, feeling healthier and happier despite having a long ways to go. I’m actually looking forward to my workout this afternoon…THAT is a huge change in and of itself!

I’ve got a few different blog/writing projects going on at the moment; like I said…lots of changes! The biggest change I suppose is that I came out of the closet last year…did you guys know that? I don’t think so…Gosh…my last post was over a year ago! So yes, I came out as a lesbian to my friends and family, and now to my blog followers. I’m not a “shove it in your face” type of person but obviously with our country changing towards equality the way it is, I may post a thing or two about it. I’m a lot happier now that I came out, but I’m focusing on myself at the moment and not actively looking for a partner. Some people take that as not being serious (*cough* MOM *cough*), but I am, and I’m glad that the people I love support me. Just as I support them being straight. 😉

Lots and lots have happened over the past year, and I’m really excited to be able to blog about them and get them off my chest. I’ll have to hop back on the computer after my workout and shower later. At the moment, I’m a little tied up, so I’ll have to finish my thoughts in a few hours.

Cheers!

Elysia

What color is Google?

Standard

A friend came to me the other day with a few trivia questions for me to test how much I pay attention to the world that surrounds me. One really stuck in my head, because I see it every day, many times per day, and I still couldn’t answer it…

What colors belong to which letters of the Google logo?

I can pretty much bet you $10 that you can’t answer it without going to the Google homepage. I know I couldn’t. I tried and tried, and just couldn’t get the order right. But it also made me thing; how strange it is that I see this logo every single day, but I can’t really remember what it actually consists of. Let’s bring this to a more philosophical context…

Because of how awful I felt that I couldn’t guess that question correctly, I made it a point today to really pay attention to something in great detail that I see on a daily basis. I tried to focus on what I really see on the drive to work, what’s on my desk at work…through it all, I couldn’t really believe how much I discovered that I normally didn’t pay attention to. It was actually eye opening, and it made me wonder if I’ve missed some incredible things in my life just because I wasn’t paying attention.

In a book I have called The Writer’s Idea Book, by Jack Heffron, he talks about focusing on in-depth detail, especially with writing about a specific place or person. I also think it helps on a daily level of really SEEING life and understanding it. Seeing a person walking down the street and really being able to see their emotions or to see the way the rain falls to the ground…it seems like stuff we all should know, but maybe don’t notice.

I suppose there isn’t really any reason for any of this…what does seeing a stranger’s emotions have to do with you? What does it matter how to rain falls? I guess I’m different in that way. I feel like being able to read people is a great tool in life, for so many different situations, and I feel like seeing nature and all it has is great for the artistic mind, or anyone seeking peace. When I need relaxation or time to regather my thoughts, I look outside, go to the beach (like my Ocean Shores trip with mom), or I put on some earthy music. I really feel the wind, or watch the grass, or look at the clouds in the sky. It brings me a sense of belonging to the world.

I know this was a very random post, but it’s nice to stray away from normal topics. I’ll post again soon!

xoxo

Elysia

Finding the strength

Standard

I am trying very hard to keep this blog and weight4us.wordpress.com separate as far as topics go, but what I want to talk about tonight applies to my weightloss journey, and I would like to share it with you…

I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I went through elementary, middle, and high school being made fun of for my weight, and even went to college and heard a remark or two. For the longest time, I hated myself; I hated looking in the mirror, hated getting out of bed in the morning because I just didn’t want to deal with it. I wanted to ignore it, make it *poof* and disappear. I dreamed many nights of just waking up to a skinny, more beautiful me. I got it into my head that skinny was beauty, because that is what others said.

For years, it’s been hard for me to find the strength in my heart to say “I can do something about this”, and really take charge of my weightloss. I had been beaten down so many times that it just felt like this was the way things were always going to be. It’s caused depression, but I just began to accept it for what it is; I’m fat, and that’s just me.

It *literally* wasn’t until last week that I really started digging deep inside myself and asking what I want out of my life. I just got out of a serious relationship, and things were just kind of shattered. I took a look around and said “Hey, I have all these pieces here. Should I put life together the way is was before him?” I thought about it for a day or so. What did I want to do? What did I want to change? What do I see in my future? When I thought about it, I knew what my answer was: I need change in my life. I need things to be different. I don’t want to go for another few years with depression and allowing myself to get bigger and bigger. That’s not in my plan. That’s not how I’m going to put my pieces back together.

I found the strength this past week to say “NO!” and realize that I won’t continue down the same path agian. I’ve found the strength to look at myself in the mirror and say “You’re beautiful…and you can do this, Elysia.” I’ve found the strength to let go of all those negative comments I had heard my entire life, and remember the good things I have heard. Just on Valentine’s Day, one of my friends texted me and said “I wanted to tell you that you’re beautiful, and one of my best friends.” What I positive, amazing thing to hear. Ultimately, I’ve found the strength to love myself, and to heal myself of my insecurities and illnesses by restarting this weightloss journey with my mom.

I’m in this for the long haul, and I’m in it for myself.

Xoxo

Elysia

Painting My World

Standard

Someone else is dreaming my dreams

Taking my life apart at the seams

Stopping me from living as me

Painting my world with different scenes

How do you escape a grip so tight?

Clouds over head, black as night

Stopping me from living as me

Painting my world with a different light

Taking back this life of mine

Letting go of things unkind

Completely free to live as me

Painting my world with a brilliant shine.

I have realize in the past few weeks that my life isn’t what I want it to be. I work at a job that I dislike, my car is getting old, I’m struggling to make ends meet each month…What am I doing wrong? I think I’ve figured out what it is – I’m not taking hold of my life. I’ve become accustomed to allowing things I don’t like continue to manifest, and that’s not right. I need to take a leap, and really find what makes me happy. The only question remains: where do I begin?

White Canvas

Standard

Staring at a blank page

Indecisive about everything

No courage to take a risk

Mind, like a brush with no pain

No thoughts flow into words

Nothing is created.

It feels nice to get back into the flow of poetry, but sometimes the ideas and inspiration escape me. For the rest of the evening, my canvas remains white. ï»ż

There is a poet inside of everyone.

Standard

Poetry has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, but I know I didn’t write it much until 6th grade, when it was assigned. Our teacher told us to write, as she put it, “a rhyming poem”. Once we were finished, we got a chance to share it with the class if we wanted. Even after 9 years, I still remember it:

On my side, I watch the tide

As the sun goes down.

I see people wearing gowns,

I guess it’s time for bed.

As I sleep, I watch the sheep

Jumping over my head.

And in a daze of childish ways.

My thoughts slowly drown.

My teacher told me that day that I was a good poet (I just didn’t know it!) and she encouraged me to keep writing. I continued to write through middle school and into high school, but unfortunately, I’ve moved a few times, and the majority of the poems I had were thrown out. I have managed to keep a few of my pieces that I enjoy most, and perhaps I will post those soon.

I have met a great deal of amazing writers in the past, one of which just published a book of her poems (click to purchase “Bitter Grapes” by Cat Enos…BUY IT!!!). Cat Enos is a great friend of mine and an incredibly talented writer. She has been a wonderful inspiration to me, helping me to get back to writing poems again, as well as encouraging me to get mine published as she did. I’ve also met many great poets and writers here on WordPress, all encouraging me to post more! Thanks everyone for the encouragement. It means a lot to me.

The poem I’ll post today doesn’t have a title, but I enjoyed writing it:

Take the moment in your hand

Hold it; never let it go.

Dream 10,000 dreams,

And never feel any woe.

Live without regrets,

Tomorrow starts a new day.

Create many memories,

Embrace the sun’s shining ray.

Life can be exciting,

Or just as dull as you choose.

Live the way you want,

Everything is up to you.

I’m a little rusty since I haven’t written a poem in a while, but I can’t wait to post more. Again, thank you everyone for your inspiration, and thanks for reading.

xoxoxo