Tag Archives: philosophy

*shakes off dust*


Whew! What a break from blogging THAT was! It actually was completely unintentional, but no matter…I’m back!

I’m on a good track in my life right now…Working on the weight loss thing, feeling healthier and happier despite having a long ways to go. I’m actually looking forward to my workout this afternoon…THAT is a huge change in and of itself!

I’ve got a few different blog/writing projects going on at the moment; like I said…lots of changes! The biggest change I suppose is that I came out of the closet last year…did you guys know that? I don’t think so…Gosh…my last post was over a year ago! So yes, I came out as a lesbian to my friends and family, and now to my blog followers. I’m not a “shove it in your face” type of person but obviously with our country changing towards equality the way it is, I may post a thing or two about it. I’m a lot happier now that I came out, but I’m focusing on myself at the moment and not actively looking for a partner. Some people take that as not being serious (*cough* MOM *cough*), but I am, and I’m glad that the people I love support me. Just as I support them being straight. 😉

Lots and lots have happened over the past year, and I’m really excited to be able to blog about them and get them off my chest. I’ll have to hop back on the computer after my workout and shower later. At the moment, I’m a little tied up, so I’ll have to finish my thoughts in a few hours.




Let’s help save the world!


I, for one, was STUNNED to hear this morning that George Clooney was arrested while protesting the Sudanese Government. Not only is he one of my favorite actors (Oceans 11 is one of my FAVORITE movies EVER), but he’s been a long-time activist against dictators physically abusing and killing their citizens, and he’s been vocal about it.

To hear that he was arrested during one of these gatherings is not only plain RIDICULOUS but I’m beyond livid that it was here in the US.

When will people wake up and realize that we NEED influencial people like George Clooney to finally say that enough is enough?? Clooney met with Obama yesterday to discuss what we could be doing to get aid to people in Sudan (their government refuses aid, and they are starving their people, amongst other atrocities), and hopefully our government will do the right thing and organize help.

I would be more than willing to volunteer to package food and supplies in my community if I knew that the people of Sudan would actually receive it.

There are so many people that say “Why help other countries when people in America are struggling and could use your help??”

I DO help those people. I donate an amount from EACH PAYCHECK to local charities where I know my money is going to a good place to help my neighboors. But I think it’s time to look beyond just my country, and realize that there are people in the world suffering so much more than America; TEN and TWENTY TIMES MORE. We need to focus on bring peace in the world…not just our own back yard.

I’m so fired up about this that I can hardly stand it. I’m so tired of hearing innocent men, women, and children are starving or dying and we’re just sitting back and allowing it. NO. Never again. My heart won’t allow it. I can’t watch things like the Kony Video on Youtube, and continuing to read stories about Syria…It HAS TO STOP.

From here on out, I will try to post a link of places to donate to that are helping people in countries that are much less fortunate than the US. Today’s is a place in Nepal where a 28 year old girls has been taking in children that had been living with their parents in prison. They don’t have a lot of money. If you can, make a $1 donation, or whatever you can…The link is at the end of this article: Pulling Children Out of Nepal’s Prisons. 

A huge THANK YOU and good luck to George Clooney in all of his efforts. I will be posting more about it soon.

Lots of love,


What color is Google?


A friend came to me the other day with a few trivia questions for me to test how much I pay attention to the world that surrounds me. One really stuck in my head, because I see it every day, many times per day, and I still couldn’t answer it…

What colors belong to which letters of the Google logo?

I can pretty much bet you $10 that you can’t answer it without going to the Google homepage. I know I couldn’t. I tried and tried, and just couldn’t get the order right. But it also made me thing; how strange it is that I see this logo every single day, but I can’t really remember what it actually consists of. Let’s bring this to a more philosophical context…

Because of how awful I felt that I couldn’t guess that question correctly, I made it a point today to really pay attention to something in great detail that I see on a daily basis. I tried to focus on what I really see on the drive to work, what’s on my desk at work…through it all, I couldn’t really believe how much I discovered that I normally didn’t pay attention to. It was actually eye opening, and it made me wonder if I’ve missed some incredible things in my life just because I wasn’t paying attention.

In a book I have called The Writer’s Idea Book, by Jack Heffron, he talks about focusing on in-depth detail, especially with writing about a specific place or person. I also think it helps on a daily level of really SEEING life and understanding it. Seeing a person walking down the street and really being able to see their emotions or to see the way the rain falls to the ground…it seems like stuff we all should know, but maybe don’t notice.

I suppose there isn’t really any reason for any of this…what does seeing a stranger’s emotions have to do with you? What does it matter how to rain falls? I guess I’m different in that way. I feel like being able to read people is a great tool in life, for so many different situations, and I feel like seeing nature and all it has is great for the artistic mind, or anyone seeking peace. When I need relaxation or time to regather my thoughts, I look outside, go to the beach (like my Ocean Shores trip with mom), or I put on some earthy music. I really feel the wind, or watch the grass, or look at the clouds in the sky. It brings me a sense of belonging to the world.

I know this was a very random post, but it’s nice to stray away from normal topics. I’ll post again soon!



Finding the strength


I am trying very hard to keep this blog and weight4us.wordpress.com separate as far as topics go, but what I want to talk about tonight applies to my weightloss journey, and I would like to share it with you…

I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I went through elementary, middle, and high school being made fun of for my weight, and even went to college and heard a remark or two. For the longest time, I hated myself; I hated looking in the mirror, hated getting out of bed in the morning because I just didn’t want to deal with it. I wanted to ignore it, make it *poof* and disappear. I dreamed many nights of just waking up to a skinny, more beautiful me. I got it into my head that skinny was beauty, because that is what others said.

For years, it’s been hard for me to find the strength in my heart to say “I can do something about this”, and really take charge of my weightloss. I had been beaten down so many times that it just felt like this was the way things were always going to be. It’s caused depression, but I just began to accept it for what it is; I’m fat, and that’s just me.

It *literally* wasn’t until last week that I really started digging deep inside myself and asking what I want out of my life. I just got out of a serious relationship, and things were just kind of shattered. I took a look around and said “Hey, I have all these pieces here. Should I put life together the way is was before him?” I thought about it for a day or so. What did I want to do? What did I want to change? What do I see in my future? When I thought about it, I knew what my answer was: I need change in my life. I need things to be different. I don’t want to go for another few years with depression and allowing myself to get bigger and bigger. That’s not in my plan. That’s not how I’m going to put my pieces back together.

I found the strength this past week to say “NO!” and realize that I won’t continue down the same path agian. I’ve found the strength to look at myself in the mirror and say “You’re beautiful…and you can do this, Elysia.” I’ve found the strength to let go of all those negative comments I had heard my entire life, and remember the good things I have heard. Just on Valentine’s Day, one of my friends texted me and said “I wanted to tell you that you’re beautiful, and one of my best friends.” What I positive, amazing thing to hear. Ultimately, I’ve found the strength to love myself, and to heal myself of my insecurities and illnesses by restarting this weightloss journey with my mom.

I’m in this for the long haul, and I’m in it for myself.



Philosophical Screamo: It DOES exist!


As I was making my commute to work this afternoon, I was listening to Atreyu, a semi-popular screamo rock band that I was introduced to in 2004, following the release of their cd “The Curse”. I’ve managed to memorize all the lyrics and even understand the hardcore parts, and the lyrics to one song, “The Remembrance Ballad” (click link for lyrics), really caught my attention today.

Lately I’ve been really trying to pinpoint where my faith lies and what I believe in as far as a deity and the afterlife.  I’ve been doing a lot of research about what feels right to me, and so far I’ve come up with a mix of things anywhere from many Pagan beliefs to some Buddhist ideas and a few things from other religions.

A few lyrics from “The Remembrance Ballad” state:

What’s out there?
What is my eternal fate?
And it only just recently hit me
That this life is just a state
Mortality fading, like the innocence of love
I’m scared to death of what’s to become
Of my immortal soul of this eternal flame

When my eyes close for the last time
Does it all simply end in a blanket of darkness
And what of my soul, what of my soul?

I must say, I’ve never really heard a screamo band be philosophical like this, but really, they bring up a few questions worth pondering: what’s out there? What happens to us when we die? Where does our soul go? Of course, no one has the true answer, but it’s so interesting to think of the possibilities!

Sometimes I’d love to think there is a heaven – A giant paradise with all my past loved ones and endless sunshine and happiness. It sounds so beautiful and relaxing, but I can’t help but tap into my logical side and say “how could this be a physical place?” Again, I don’t have the answer, but it leads me away from this being a true possibility for me and my own soul, though I’m happy for anyone that can fully believe in this.

Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of reincarnation. It seems so neat, to be brought back as something more or less of a being based on how you previously lived your life. It makes me truly question the quality of my life and how I’ve lived it. What would I be born again as? Are there ways I could better my life and be brought back as something greater? Yet once again, my logical side can’t keep quiet, and I wonder: “Who/what makes the decision as to how great your life was lived? What different things can you be brought back as and why are those associated with your previous life?”

I wonder if we’ll ever have the answers to these questions; if there will ever be a machine to measure a soul or spirit and where it goes. I suppose it does leave a great mystery for whenever I pass this life. I’m not too eager to get to that point, though. I would love to know, but it can wait. This brings me to another set of lyrics from the song:

All those things that you couldn’t say
You should’ve said
All these I-love-you’s lostWeighed more like lead on your chest
If I could take back all those misspent days
Every second of anger, I would wash my sins away!

I recently watched “The Bucket List” in which [[SPOILER ALERT]] Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are both terminally ill and make a list of everything they’d like to do before they die, and they complete the list. While the ending is terribly sad and I cry every time, it meshes with these lyrics quite nicely; live life while you still can.

Our day to day lives often include stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings, making it hard to truly open up to the things you really want to do or accomplish. For instance, I’ve dreamed my entire life about going to Europe, but living through my day to day life doesn’t get me one step closer to actually living out that dream. I’m not focused on what makes me truly happy, but instead my focus is on going to work and making money to pay for things that don’t matter in the long run anyways.

Perhaps it is in everyone’s best interest to actually make a bucket list, and to perhaps live life with a new focus. We may not know what happens to us after death, but we can definitely make life worth living while we wait to find out. We should live without regrets, love as many people as possible, and never take for granted the time that we have on our beautiful Earth.