Tag Archives: Exercise

*shakes off dust*

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Whew! What a break from blogging THAT was! It actually was completely unintentional, but no matter…I’m back!

I’m on a good track in my life right now…Working on the weight loss thing, feeling healthier and happier despite having a long ways to go. I’m actually looking forward to my workout this afternoon…THAT is a huge change in and of itself!

I’ve got a few different blog/writing projects going on at the moment; like I said…lots of changes! The biggest change I suppose is that I came out of the closet last year…did you guys know that? I don’t think so…Gosh…my last post was over a year ago! So yes, I came out as a lesbian to my friends and family, and now to my blog followers. I’m not a “shove it in your face” type of person but obviously with our country changing towards equality the way it is, I may post a thing or two about it. I’m a lot happier now that I came out, but I’m focusing on myself at the moment and not actively looking for a partner. Some people take that as not being serious (*cough* MOM *cough*), but I am, and I’m glad that the people I love support me. Just as I support them being straight. 😉

Lots and lots have happened over the past year, and I’m really excited to be able to blog about them and get them off my chest. I’ll have to hop back on the computer after my workout and shower later. At the moment, I’m a little tied up, so I’ll have to finish my thoughts in a few hours.

Cheers!

Elysia

Finding the strength

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I am trying very hard to keep this blog and weight4us.wordpress.com separate as far as topics go, but what I want to talk about tonight applies to my weightloss journey, and I would like to share it with you…

I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I went through elementary, middle, and high school being made fun of for my weight, and even went to college and heard a remark or two. For the longest time, I hated myself; I hated looking in the mirror, hated getting out of bed in the morning because I just didn’t want to deal with it. I wanted to ignore it, make it *poof* and disappear. I dreamed many nights of just waking up to a skinny, more beautiful me. I got it into my head that skinny was beauty, because that is what others said.

For years, it’s been hard for me to find the strength in my heart to say “I can do something about this”, and really take charge of my weightloss. I had been beaten down so many times that it just felt like this was the way things were always going to be. It’s caused depression, but I just began to accept it for what it is; I’m fat, and that’s just me.

It *literally* wasn’t until last week that I really started digging deep inside myself and asking what I want out of my life. I just got out of a serious relationship, and things were just kind of shattered. I took a look around and said “Hey, I have all these pieces here. Should I put life together the way is was before him?” I thought about it for a day or so. What did I want to do? What did I want to change? What do I see in my future? When I thought about it, I knew what my answer was: I need change in my life. I need things to be different. I don’t want to go for another few years with depression and allowing myself to get bigger and bigger. That’s not in my plan. That’s not how I’m going to put my pieces back together.

I found the strength this past week to say “NO!” and realize that I won’t continue down the same path agian. I’ve found the strength to look at myself in the mirror and say “You’re beautiful…and you can do this, Elysia.” I’ve found the strength to let go of all those negative comments I had heard my entire life, and remember the good things I have heard. Just on Valentine’s Day, one of my friends texted me and said “I wanted to tell you that you’re beautiful, and one of my best friends.” What I positive, amazing thing to hear. Ultimately, I’ve found the strength to love myself, and to heal myself of my insecurities and illnesses by restarting this weightloss journey with my mom.

I’m in this for the long haul, and I’m in it for myself.

Xoxo

Elysia

I love jogging in the moonlight

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Non-poetic blog tonight, but wanted to post anyways. I went jogging for 30 minutes and I’m feeling wonderful. There’s a really long part of my street with no houses on it, so I used that, going around it 3 times, jogging one side, then crossing the street and walking on the other side. I was honestly surprised I could jog like I did, considering how out of shape I am. But, I’m proud to report I’ve lost 6 of the 10 to 11 lbs I gained while my aunt was in town. lol. She would go to the store and bring home all sorts of desserts and such that I couldn’t help but eat.

But now, I’m really getting serious about losing all this weight. I will be in a wedding at the end of this year, and I really need to lose some weight to get a decent dress. Plus, I just need to get healthier in general. Jogging tonight finally felt like that first serious leap into doing this, and I’m very happy about it. Little baby steps, I suppose. I guess occasionally I will post how I’m doing, if anyone is interested.

Otherwise, things are pretty much the same. Debating whether or not to go to school in the spring, considering I didn’t get the job I interviewed for. Not getting the job really was depressing for me after being so sure I had it. I don’t honestly know what to do now. My passion is writing, but I’m scared now that if I go to school for writing, I won’t have a job for me after I graduate. But then what would be the point of going to school for something else that I’m not interested in? Should I just stay at my job for now, or should I find a new one? Well, we all know the answer to that last one…NEW ONE. I need to find one quickly, but one that is NOT retail like what I’m doing. I can’t begin to tell anyone how tired of retail I am.

So really, I’m trying to make major changes in my life, because it’s really time for some. It’s time to save money left and right so that I can eventually move into my own place, get a new car, etc. I mean, life isn’t all about money for me, but right now, I do need to save to improve my situation. I can’t go on struggling month to month. It stresses me out to no end, and I really don’t want that. I want to find happiness, and to start, that means losing weight and finding a new job.

I guess right now, I’m feeling good about starting these changes. Tonight’s jog really helped me a lot. Hopefully I can get things figured out really soon, or at least have some steps covered to improve things. I think tomorrow night I will go for another jog in the moonlight, assuming the clouds won’t be there. ❤