Category Archives: poems

*shakes off dust*


Whew! What a break from blogging THAT was! It actually was completely unintentional, but no matter…I’m back!

I’m on a good track in my life right now…Working on the weight loss thing, feeling healthier and happier despite having a long ways to go. I’m actually looking forward to my workout this afternoon…THAT is a huge change in and of itself!

I’ve got a few different blog/writing projects going on at the moment; like I said…lots of changes! The biggest change I suppose is that I came out of the closet last year…did you guys know that? I don’t think so…Gosh…my last post was over a year ago! So yes, I came out as a lesbian to my friends and family, and now to my blog followers. I’m not a “shove it in your face” type of person but obviously with our country changing towards equality the way it is, I may post a thing or two about it. I’m a lot happier now that I came out, but I’m focusing on myself at the moment and not actively looking for a partner. Some people take that as not being serious (*cough* MOM *cough*), but I am, and I’m glad that the people I love support me. Just as I support them being straight. 😉

Lots and lots have happened over the past year, and I’m really excited to be able to blog about them and get them off my chest. I’ll have to hop back on the computer after my workout and shower later. At the moment, I’m a little tied up, so I’ll have to finish my thoughts in a few hours.




What color is Google?


A friend came to me the other day with a few trivia questions for me to test how much I pay attention to the world that surrounds me. One really stuck in my head, because I see it every day, many times per day, and I still couldn’t answer it…

What colors belong to which letters of the Google logo?

I can pretty much bet you $10 that you can’t answer it without going to the Google homepage. I know I couldn’t. I tried and tried, and just couldn’t get the order right. But it also made me thing; how strange it is that I see this logo every single day, but I can’t really remember what it actually consists of. Let’s bring this to a more philosophical context…

Because of how awful I felt that I couldn’t guess that question correctly, I made it a point today to really pay attention to something in great detail that I see on a daily basis. I tried to focus on what I really see on the drive to work, what’s on my desk at work…through it all, I couldn’t really believe how much I discovered that I normally didn’t pay attention to. It was actually eye opening, and it made me wonder if I’ve missed some incredible things in my life just because I wasn’t paying attention.

In a book I have called The Writer’s Idea Book, by Jack Heffron, he talks about focusing on in-depth detail, especially with writing about a specific place or person. I also think it helps on a daily level of really SEEING life and understanding it. Seeing a person walking down the street and really being able to see their emotions or to see the way the rain falls to the ground…it seems like stuff we all should know, but maybe don’t notice.

I suppose there isn’t really any reason for any of this…what does seeing a stranger’s emotions have to do with you? What does it matter how to rain falls? I guess I’m different in that way. I feel like being able to read people is a great tool in life, for so many different situations, and I feel like seeing nature and all it has is great for the artistic mind, or anyone seeking peace. When I need relaxation or time to regather my thoughts, I look outside, go to the beach (like my Ocean Shores trip with mom), or I put on some earthy music. I really feel the wind, or watch the grass, or look at the clouds in the sky. It brings me a sense of belonging to the world.

I know this was a very random post, but it’s nice to stray away from normal topics. I’ll post again soon!



As simple as breathing…


Staying true to myself,

Taking time to live.

To breath.

To see.

To love everything around me.

Dreaming daily,

And making it reality.

This just flowed out when I opened the page to create a post. I’m very happy with life right now, and I’m loving that I have taken the time to really breath.

Life’s Clock, Pieces, and Thoughtful Suffering.


Life’s Clock

I used to think it too an eternity

For an hour to go by.

Now, an hour feels like minutes

And months feel like days.

Time gone quicker than it came.

Moments escaping, opportunities lost.

Life being lived with out even realizing it.

Too busy to stop and live in the present,

Too busy to take a risk,

To take a drive just because,

To feel the wind in your hair,

Or the rain drops on your cheek.

And you know this feeling,

But you don’t change.

So life continues to pass you by,

And you miss the best moments

Because you were tired,

Or had other things to do.

And when the clock stops ticking,

When it’s finally too late,

Will you look back with a smile?

Will you be proud of what you have become

And the memories you have?

Or will you look back with regret

For a life that was never lived?

Don’t wait to die with regrets.

Take a moment, breath in the air,

Don’t just inhale.

Recognize each day as new

And remember you don’t have eternity,

And life’s clock is ticking,

As days continue to feel like hours…



I have this feeling.

Something isn’t right.

My life is missing a piece,

And I can’t find it.

I have tried searching,

Never finding what I need.

Always feeling overlooked.

Most days I try to understand,

And accept that the piece will never be found,

That I’m not meant to have it.

And ever so slowly,

My heart breaks.

I feel tears in my eyes,

As I ask in silence,

“Will I ever be whole?”

I close my eyes

And imagine finding the piece.

Finding him.

A second of completion.

But when I open my eyes,

He disappears,

And I shatter into pieces.


Thoughtful Suffering

I can’t understand this,

Why you’re always on my mind,

And why I can’t escape it.

Taking over thoughts that don’t belong to you.

Capturing memories, and destroying them.

Leaving nothing untouched.

You carry on, and I am left to suffer,

To be tortured with your memory,

To by quietly alone with the thought of you.

To remember the unbearable,

Of love once shared,

Then broken in a single moment,

And a heart broken along with it…



Usually I don’t feel the need to explain my poetry, but a strange theme of missing someone, or missing a part of myself due to someone has been occurring a lot in my poetry, and I honestly don’t know why. I have no idea who it could be about, but I think my subconscious  knows and is pressing the issue. At any rate, I’m happy to finally have some new writing to post. I feel like it’s been way too long. I may write a journal blog in the coming days if I have some extra time.

Painting My World


Someone else is dreaming my dreams

Taking my life apart at the seams

Stopping me from living as me

Painting my world with different scenes

How do you escape a grip so tight?

Clouds over head, black as night

Stopping me from living as me

Painting my world with a different light

Taking back this life of mine

Letting go of things unkind

Completely free to live as me

Painting my world with a brilliant shine.

I have realize in the past few weeks that my life isn’t what I want it to be. I work at a job that I dislike, my car is getting old, I’m struggling to make ends meet each month…What am I doing wrong? I think I’ve figured out what it is – I’m not taking hold of my life. I’ve become accustomed to allowing things I don’t like continue to manifest, and that’s not right. I need to take a leap, and really find what makes me happy. The only question remains: where do I begin?