It seems like life changes overnight. I mean, we all know that, I suppose, but lately I’ve really been seeing it to be true. Two weeks ago I was stoked to be really trying to go back to school, hoping to get my degree and move away from home, and sort of live my own life. Next thing I know, I get a call for an interview to a seriously life changing job, and the thought of going to school is nearly completely swept under the rug.
I thought I’d be sad about putting school on hold yet again, but I’m really not. Truth is, I’m terrified of the future. I’ve been thinking about it so much recently, and it’s actually caused me to get distant from people, and quite unfocused. I’m worried that if I go back to school and earn a degree in what I love, there will be no job for me once I graduate. I’ve talked to a lot of recent graduates, and the vast majority has told me how much they are struggling, and they have realistic degrees. The economy is not improving, and jobs are still scarce. To be honest, I’m just not sure it’s a risk I want to take at the moment.
The prospect of getting this job and really starting LIFE is extremely exciting to me. It’s a career job, full time, benefits, etc. In a few months of working there, I’ll have enough money to move out of my house and into my own place, where I can really just be myself, and LIVE. Of course, I don’t have the job in my hands as of yet, and I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but I know my life would be perfect with this job. We’ll find out by the end of this next week.
At the moment, I’m listening to “Airplanes” by B.o.B. and Hayley Williams, thinking that it should be my theme song. If I had a chance to have a wish come true, I really don’t know what I’d ask for. It seems like anything of monetary value would help with so much stress, but is that what life is about? Having all the money I need? Sound tempting, but I don’t know if that’s what is really important to me. Could I wish to always be happy? Is that possible? We all know that things happen, mistakes occur, and bad things happen…those are what make us stronger, right?
Maybe I’ve realized that life isn’t about wishing things to come true. Maybe it’s about learning how to live life so that you can be happy and get through hardships, keeping your head help high. Hmm. I’ve only started thinking about it recently in great depth. I guess that’s one of those questions that perhaps you never answer. All you can do is make this journey of life worth it, all the way til our last day.