As I was making my commute to work this afternoon, I was listening to Atreyu, a semi-popular screamo rock band that I was introduced to in 2004, following the release of their cd “The Curse”. I’ve managed to memorize all the lyrics and even understand the hardcore parts, and the lyrics to one song, “The Remembrance Ballad” (click link for lyrics), really caught my attention today.
Lately I’ve been really trying to pinpoint where my faith lies and what I believe in as far as a deity and the afterlife. I’ve been doing a lot of research about what feels right to me, and so far I’ve come up with a mix of things anywhere from many Pagan beliefs to some Buddhist ideas and a few things from other religions.
A few lyrics from “The Remembrance Ballad” state:
What’s out there?
What is my eternal fate?
And it only just recently hit me
That this life is just a state
Mortality fading, like the innocence of love
I’m scared to death of what’s to become Of my immortal soul of this eternal flame
When my eyes close for the last time
Does it all simply end in a blanket of darkness
And what of my soul, what of my soul?
I must say, I’ve never really heard a screamo band be philosophical like this, but really, they bring up a few questions worth pondering: what’s out there? What happens to us when we die? Where does our soul go? Of course, no one has the true answer, but it’s so interesting to think of the possibilities!
Sometimes I’d love to think there is a heaven – A giant paradise with all my past loved ones and endless sunshine and happiness. It sounds so beautiful and relaxing, but I can’t help but tap into my logical side and say “how could this be a physical place?” Again, I don’t have the answer, but it leads me away from this being a true possibility for me and my own soul, though I’m happy for anyone that can fully believe in this.
Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of reincarnation. It seems so neat, to be brought back as something more or less of a being based on how you previously lived your life. It makes me truly question the quality of my life and how I’ve lived it. What would I be born again as? Are there ways I could better my life and be brought back as something greater? Yet once again, my logical side can’t keep quiet, and I wonder: “Who/what makes the decision as to how great your life was lived? What different things can you be brought back as and why are those associated with your previous life?”
I wonder if we’ll ever have the answers to these questions; if there will ever be a machine to measure a soul or spirit and where it goes. I suppose it does leave a great mystery for whenever I pass this life. I’m not too eager to get to that point, though. I would love to know, but it can wait. This brings me to another set of lyrics from the song:
All those things that you couldn’t say
You should’ve said
All these I-love-you’s lostWeighed more like lead on your chest
If I could take back all those misspent days
Every second of anger, I would wash my sins away!
I recently watched “The Bucket List” in which [[SPOILER ALERT]] Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are both terminally ill and make a list of everything they’d like to do before they die, and they complete the list. While the ending is terribly sad and I cry every time, it meshes with these lyrics quite nicely; live life while you still can.
Our day to day lives often include stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings, making it hard to truly open up to the things you really want to do or accomplish. For instance, I’ve dreamed my entire life about going to Europe, but living through my day to day life doesn’t get me one step closer to actually living out that dream. I’m not focused on what makes me truly happy, but instead my focus is on going to work and making money to pay for things that don’t matter in the long run anyways.
Perhaps it is in everyone’s best interest to actually make a bucket list, and to perhaps live life with a new focus. We may not know what happens to us after death, but we can definitely make life worth living while we wait to find out. We should live without regrets, love as many people as possible, and never take for granted the time that we have on our beautiful Earth.